Kirby Breaking News Mash

It's today's breaking news, mashed up with Jack Kirby comics panels:

First Up: Barry Bonds found guilty of obstruction of justice when he lied about not taking steroids.
Big surprise there.  Or should I say, Bonds got bigger and bigger, but we were not surprised that he lied.

Second: The President vows not to let Republicans take benefits from the poor to give tax breaks to the rich.
How's that working for you, Prez?  Remind me: what was your opening bid last week? 7 billion in cuts.  What was the Republican counter offer? 33 billion.  What did you end up with? 38 billion.  Keep on ducking, cause those are some superhuman negotiating skills you got there.

Last But Not Least: Jack Kirby drew great comics.  And that's all the news that fit to smash! (Well, not really, but it's all the news I have time to smash.)